If I Could Change the Past

Q:   My dog passed away last thurday night and it's been among, if not the most painful experience in my life. She was the glue that held my little world together, and looking back I know how I could have saved her "now." Part of dealing with grief is acceptance, which I have not been able to do as of yet, perhaps in time, but sometimes there are just things you never get over. I came across your site, in particular a page about going back and changing ones past...

There are plenty of things in my life I wish I had done differently, but the tapestry of my life would probably have turned out differently, so I wouldn't bother changing those things. With this though, I can see that if just a year or so ago I would have taken her to the vet and found the cancer THEN, she would surely be alive today, recovering perhaps... but alive. Also seeing as this has been the worst year of my life in many other aspects beyond just the loss of my precious dog, I would, in a heartbeat choose to go back and change things.

You also talk about dealing with grief though, with the baby that died in the car (terrible tragedy), also with the spirit of the mother (and the dog)...saying that now she could breathe...

I guess my question is, if any of this is possible (going back and changing things), then what about changing the past where my dog would still be here with me now. I'm still unable to accept her death, and maybe that's why I'm looking at these type of sites, because I do have a belief in these sorts of things, at least somewhat...but I just wonder if I should try to deal with the loss rather than try to "fix" it...even though you gave me hope for that.

-Grieving-

A:   The loss of a beloved pet is certainly heartbreaking. I often point out to pet lovers that animals do not carry the same fear and associations about "death" that we hold. They have little attachment to this dimension, and "drop the body" quite easily and naturally when it comes time.

More relevant to your question, I'd like to address the longing you feel, wishing that you could change the past—and bring back your dog. It's a natural to want to replace what has been lost, whatever is missing. When I work with clients who are struggling with (what I call) Very Life Situations, I show them how to "pull the camera back" to view of the larger picture re. their journey. This promotes a shift in perception that is often quite healing, as well as enlightening.

It's all about what we're here for, back as physical beings—eternal, spiritual beings temporarily inhabiting physical bodies in a liner, time/space-oriented reality. We re-enter this dimension, remembering to forget our true nature and spend most of our lives trying to remember what's true, and from whence we've come.

Edgar Cayce once made this analogy: It's as if we we're walking along the sidewalk when we happen to look up and see a movie advertised on a marquee. We're intrigued...curious. We buy a ticket and go inside to watch the show. We become so engaged by the movie, that we forget that it's pretend—not real. We're so involved in the drama that we actually believe that we're in the movie, forgetting that we're only participating in the viewing from the audience.

Most of us choose this physical adventure for the opportunity to disprove certain misperceptions and untruths that we have "taken to the grave" (as if that's where we actually go!) and on into other life spaces. Among the Top Ten on the List of Mis-beliefs: Death exists, God has abandoned us because we're sinful or unworthy, and that "bad" things happen because we're being punished. SOOOO not true. The flow of unconditional love from the Source is eternal, truly never-ending. We block that flow when we forget what is true, or buy into fear.

One of the most effective ways that we convince ourselves of the illusion of death, is to experience it. We can do this through our own passing—observing it in slow motion upon leaving the body and heading towards the Light—or by experiencing the loss of one that we've loved deeply. I remember a friend who lost her parents, her brother, a cousin, and a lover—all in the course of a year. She was forced to ask some very important questions about life—and death. This was the beginning of her spiritual journey.

You are courageous to allow yourself to feel this grief to such depths, rather than burying your feelings or attempting to fill the emptiness with any number of addictions. By feeling life—and your pain—so fully, you're expanding your capacity to feel all of life to a much, much greater degree. Most importantly—greater joy!

I'd wager that if you were able to bring back your pet, life would send you yet another opportunity to expand you in this way. Years ago, a friend called me just after her husband had passed. She said, "If only I'd made it to the hospital in time, I might have been able to save him." I heard him say, "Save me...from what??"

Time does heal and transform us. And our pets do often return in new bodies to re-join us on our continuing journey. We sometimes recognize them by observing certain traits that they exhibit in the first few months, ones that may eventually fade as the pet becomes more the current version of that timeless energy. Most importantly, you will have expanded from your loss and will celebrate life like never before.